Five things you're right to be skeptical of:

1.The milk in the fridge (or in my case, Dan's Aloe Vera juice in the fridge. No, I'm not kidding. He drinks Aloe Vera juice. No, it's not good.)

3.Childrens books that "are really for adults."

2.Bands that play guitar and also rap.

4.Spike Lee movies (me too.)
5.The new William Shatner album.

Now the question I'm here to address: is it okay for the new William Shatner album to be good? Now, let's list some reasons to be worried: 1)He's 74 or something. 2)He's just kicking off that Practice spinoff. 3)HIs records, aren't they notoriously bad?

I guess those are all yesses. But that's only if you think he's serious about making records, which he's not. Do you all really think he thought saying the words to "rocket man" were going to be more emotive than saying them, or did he think it'd be silly?

I know maybe ten people bought the record, but Ben Folds' "Fear of Pop" sometime in like '99 had a duet with Shatner called "in love" that was really funny. Let me say, right out of the box that I never thought a whole album like that would work, even if that track was the best one on FoP. And let me say, also right out of the box, that the good parts of this album eclipse "In Love." Hard. So if that sounds good to you already, stop reading. But if you need more talking, move on.

So, here we are in 2004, and Ben Folds has come to help Shatner make a new record. So you know I'm a little biased, because I loves me some Folds. But what we have in our hands, Has Been, is crazy anyway. It isn't a comedy album or anything, but I had to laugh out loud at it several times. There are some unfunny, li'l bit lame tracks here and there, too. And it's full of bad jokes and puns, which bias me again because I like those. But all in all, considering it's not only a william shatner album but, an album by a septagenarian, I'm pretty impressed.

Here are some things that make it good:

1.Cover of pulp's Common People actually works since they got Joe Jackson to sing the clutch parts that would've left anyone who knew the song aching for more. Which is mostly the "rent a flat above a shop..." part.

2.The almost "Once-in-a-lifetime" David Byrne sounding "You're gonna die" on "you'll have time." Also on that same song, Shatner aknowledging that he could very well be dead when this album comes out. and, Finally, the soul singers on that album singing "Jo-Ey-Ra-Mone" in doo-whop harmony. That shit's got Ben Folds fingerprints all over it.

3.A match in spoken-word heaven: The Shat meets Henry Rollins.

4.The song "That's Me Trying" is, honestly, awesome. That's where I had my laugh-out-loud moment first. I can't believe that's what it took to get a Ben Folds/Aimee Mann duet (which, coincidentally is a good idea for the future, if Michael Penn doesn't get all worried at "Three Marriage" Folds.) Also, I hope to God shatner treats his kids better than this.

Okay, enough numbers. That should be enough to turn some heads. The basic idea here is that the...libretto, so to speak, is well-written and genuinely funny. I doubt that Shat even wrote it, it's so good. He even reminds me of Lou Reed a little on the creepy track "what have you done."
Did I just compare William Shatner to David Byrne and Lou Reed in the same review? Looks like I did. So, I'd better stop before the indie rock elite realizes I'm not being Ironic and shuts me down. But let me add, as a final note, that I can't believe Shat Almighty made a record this good, even if it was probably Ben Folds who's responsible, and I can't believe how much better this is than anything Frank Black has done in the last year. Which is, again, horribly biased. But as long as I'm sounding crazy and pissing people off...